I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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