My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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