soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
