This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
