Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
