So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
