i just had sex bonerless
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
