Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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