Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
