dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
