there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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