A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize