it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
