look no pants
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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