Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
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