so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
