I can text with my tongue
I think my vagina is haunted
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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