I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
