And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Everything about him screamed your future.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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