So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
