My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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