i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
