i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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