How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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