It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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