Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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