they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
