At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
A bitchslap is in order.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize