I wish I only lived at night.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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