why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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