id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
