I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize