...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize