I cockslap morals
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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