he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you didnt know i had herpes?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
