just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
