did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
