My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Did I show you my penis last night?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
