Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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