Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
