Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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