Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
