He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
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