I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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