I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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