It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
