worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
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