But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize