I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I am spending my child support on dildos
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
