He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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