It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
