I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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