The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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