i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize