i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
We are all done wearing pants today
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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