don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
