I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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