It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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