YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize