I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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