Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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