Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
