My Higher Power is John Stamos
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
