dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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