OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I CAN MOONWALK!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
