At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
