ya dads aren't the best wingmen
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
