to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
