Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
