How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just found puke in my bra..
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
