Sponge bath it is.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
