She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
3pm strippers are depressing
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
