i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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