I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize