He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize
