Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
