I hate your face
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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