If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
