So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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