I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize